Superiority Complex: Why Do Some People Think They Are Better Than Others?

By Oliver JR Cooper in Abundance, Awareness, Forgiveness, Happiness, Intention, Learning, Prosperity, Success, attitude on March 20th, 2015 /  No Comments »

If one was to watch athletics on TV or at a stadium, they would soon see that not everyone is on the same level. Within each race, there will be some athletes who are at the front and there will be others who nowhere near the front.

In this instance, it is clear that some of the athletes are better than others. One is not being ‘politically incorrect’ by saying this; they are making a simple observation. Very few athletes break records or win medals and even if they do win a medal at one event, it doesn’t mean they will go on to win anymore.

Human Beings

So although each athlete that participates is a human being, if one only focused on their performance and ignored their appearance, it might be hard for them to see how they are all from the same planet. It could be said that this is because some people are born this way and/or it could be put down to how hard they train.

However, even though some athletes are better than others, it doesn’t mean that they are inherently better. At the end of the day, they are human beings who have come into the world in the same way and who will go out of the world in the same way.

Everyday Life

Yet, one doesn’t need to watch athletics in order to see that human beings are not always the same when it comes to what they can and can’t do. When one has the ability to do something in a way that others can’t, it can cause them to believe they are superior.

Having said that, even if one doesn’t have certain ability or talent, it doesn’t mean they won’t have the same outlook. What they can or can’t do is then irrelevant; as one is above others and that’s all there is to it.

Outlook

Based on their outlook, they have something that other people don’t have, or what very few people have. The people they associate with could also have the same outlook or they might spend their time around people who are ‘below’ them.

If one was to spend their time people who are think they are better than others, it might support what they think, but there is also the chance that this could make them feel uncomfortable. It could all depend on how convinced they are of their superiority and how they feel in any given moment.

Behaviour

This could cause them to come across as arrogant or they could come across in such a way that people actually believe they are better than others. One reason why people would believe this is because of what they have achieved.

Through other people putting them on a pedestal, it reinforces their sense of superiority. When one has this outlook, they are going to want to block out anything that could invalidate how they see themselves.

Society

One’s sense of superiority may also be something that is supported by the society they live in. This could relate to what they look like, their career, their level of education and/or who their parents are.

If one looks a certain way, they can end up believing they are better than others form a very early age. The reason they would believe this is because they are likely to be treated differently.  As to whether they get caught up in this might all depend on the guidance they receive from their caregivers.

Down To Earth

But while there will be people who think they are better than other people because of these factors and many others, there will also be people who are still in touch with their humanity. In this case, it won’t matter what they look like or what they have achieved.

When someone acts as if they are better than others, it shows that they are out of touch with their emotions. This is because when one is in touch with how they feel, it will be a lot harder for them to act as if they are better than others. One of the emotions that keep human beings in check is shame.

Two Types

Through having the ability to experience shame, one will realise that they are simply human; they are not above others and neither are they below them. When one doesn’t have the ability to experience shame, it can cause them to disconnect from what makes them human.

This is something that can take place when one has experienced what is often called toxic shame. Toxic shame will cause one to feel as though they deeply flawed and as though they are less-than human.

Unbearable

Healthy shame will cause one to feel bad, but they won’t feel as though they are inherently bad and as time passes, the experience they are having is likely to pass. Yet, when it comes to toxic shame, one will believe that there is nothing they can do about what is taking place within them and the experience will stay with them.

It won’t be just a feeling or something they believe, it will be who they are. And due to how unbearable it will be, it will be normal for one to disconnect from the experience and to go from one extreme to another.

Above Others

This will mean that not only will one be out of touch with their toxic shame; they will also be out of touch with their healthy shame. It will then be normal for them to believe that they are better than others.

If they were to let go of this outlook, they would have to face what is within them and this would be overwhelming. When one thinks they are better than others, they are protecting themselves from what is taking place at a deeper level.

Awareness

Toxic shame can appear as a result of some kind of abuse and while it could relate to what has happened in one’s adult years, it could also be the result of what happened during their childhood. If one wants to come back down to earth and to realise they are only human, it will be important for them to reach out for support.

The external support will provide one with the acceptance that they need in order to let go of their toxic shame. This will allow them to realise that they are not inherently flawed. Another important part will be for one to grieve their unmet childhood needs.

This support can come from a therapist, healer, support group and/or a trusted friend.

ArticlesBase

Breaking Through Frustration

By Njut Tabi Godlove in Attention, Happiness, Learning, Prosperity, Stress Reduction, Success, anxiety, attitude on March 13th, 2015 /  No Comments »

The nearest cousin to frustration is confusion. So don’t you worry we are going deal with the two at the same time together. What is frustration of being frustrated? you have had the tall rich and handsome guy now what, you have had this beautiful lady that has it all nice and tied (stole this from Americans, so you know what I am talking about) now what, you have had the career that is making you travelling the world and meeting new people now what, you have the best car now what, you have got a good house now what…

What is confusion or being confused? you don’t know if you want this man or that one, you don’t know if you want this woman or that one, you don’t know if you want this job or that one in America, you don’t know if you want this car or that one over there…

Dealing With Frustration: Frustration has two key elements that you will need to work with (fulfilment and being contempt). Even the Bible said ”be contempt with what you have”. Don’t forget your childhood dreams were to get married to this tall rich handsome guy or this beautiful woman that has it all nice and tied, get a good job, finally ride in your own car and travel as you please. Acknowledging the fact that these are the things you wanted will bring about fulfilment. Trust me fulfilment is a great feeling. It can go on for months. Be contempt in these things, many people don’t have what you have, some have even died trying to get what you have. Encourage yourself in what you have and not worry about what you do not have.

Dealing With Confusion: With confusion, you will have to work with your decision power and your decision threshold (what factors make you come to that point where you say ”this is it”). If you are faced with two men, choose one (the must be one that you like the most and the other may just be receiving yourself petty). Likewise you are faced with two ladies choose one (as a man don’t forget your power to decide is your most powerful tool, it defines you as a man). With a job, don’t be too concerned about the payment, look at their working conditions, look at their working environment and then decide which best suit you. Do you want me to go into you choosing a car too, what colour do you like, what car size do you like, also pay attention to the shape of the car, this will make you come out with a good choice.

Frustration and confusion will come at many points in your life. Their most powerful times is when you are looking for who to get married to, making career choices, deal with it at this time with the help provided above. It will come in other times of live especially when you are deciding to have children (how many will you like to have, whose name will they be bearing…) making career choices for the children… and even in other times like as to where you will be taking your vacations. At any time you have to remain yourself of the factors that need to be kept constant (fulfilment and being contempt, decision power and your decision threshold). Every thing must get under control if these elements are kept constant.

ArticlesBase

Staying Focused On Goals Through 5 Simple Tips

By Chu Nam in Attention, Success, Visualization, attitude on March 6th, 2015 /  No Comments »

Most of case people have many works need to do in life. And the bad thing here is people don’t accomplish all of them, they only waste time and efforts on something they choose to start but don’t accomplish them. So staying focused on goals really need and challenge with people.

Each person in this world doesn’t need have so massive tasks need to do. That because people trying to cheat themselves with belief that if they don’t all of that things then they can have better life.

When we are facing with the world change very fast to grow we must improve and fit with change and we also need keep staying focused on goals. Might you feel very hard but there are something you can do in this case still help you focus.

Tip 1: Want It Bad Enough

Want your goals bad enough is the most important help you staying focused on goals and achieve them. Those goals very specific with you, so you need write them down that work will help you remember when you get distraction in the future and check them when accomplish.

Want it bad enough help you understand it really need with you. It also keep your motivation, help them become realistic.

Tip 2: Always Work With Most Important Things First

This is key in staying focused on goals, determine which tasks are important and these are the things you should work on first.

Look on your progress because you will see something done or growing than before, you also know how much things and efforts you need to give. This way, you get things done on time, allowing you to maximize your time and resources.

Tip 3: Prepare To Forward

Try to do it, done it, get experience on it even you failure or mistake, never give up it mean come to staying focused on goals of you. Always want to face with some obstacle or challenges, think ahead and you can prepare to forward.

Tip 4: Celebration When You Accomplish

Need to make inspiration for you and keep staying focused on goals, but also important to acknowledge what you have already accomplished. So you can make a small celebration when you accomplish something or simple give yourself period time to relax.

Tip 5: Visualize You Achieved

You can think about results, keep your eyes on the prize. When you at situation hard to overcome obstacle or challenge, with practice to visualize will help you remain motivated.

Staying focused on goals, consistence you will see the results. With many people include me, most of time, we are excited and motivated when we first set goals, but in process cause by we don’t see final results or have difficult we will lose momentum. So we can do something about this by follow these tips in fact.

ArticlesBase

Approval: Is It Good Or Bad To Care About What Other People Think?

By Oliver JR Cooper in Abundance, Attention, Awareness, Stress Reduction, Success, attitude on March 2nd, 2015 /  No Comments »

When someone is addicted to something, they can feel the need to go the other extreme and to cut it out all together. And while this can seem like the right idea, it might not have the desired effect.

Another approach would be to cut down on the amount that one has of something; this will allow one to enjoy what they were doing before, but in moderation. However, this can all depend on what one was addicted to in the first place; as it may be something that they need to cut out altogether.

Moderation

When one is able to cut down, they won’t need to go from one extreme to the other and this will allow them to accept both sides. There will be moments when they can have what they want and moments when they can’t.

For example: one might find that they have gained too much weight and end up doing everything they can to remove all fat from their diet. Yet, while this might seem to be the right thing to do, it is likely to cause problems down the line.

A Common Occurrence

There are many other examples of how one can go from one side to the other, and while this is not always the best approach to take, it is a common occurrence. If one’s behaviour is not leading to their desired outcome, they can end up doing the complete opposite.

This could be because this is what someone else has suggested or one might believe that this is the best option available. And if one is in a position where they need to lose weight or want to change how they behave, they might not want to take their time.

A Quick Fix

Their focus will then be on getting what they want as soon as possible and not on whether this is the best approach to take in the long run. There is the chance that one will get what they want without too much time passing, but this quick fix might soon wear of and it could have a negative effect on their life.

However, during times of need and desperation, one’s mind is often taken over by their emotions. This is similar to how when one is hungry or thirsty, they can eat or drink anything. It might not matter how good it is; their body is calling out and that’s all that matters.

Approval

If one is consumed by what other people think of them it is going to stop them from being able to live their life. It won’t be possible for them to follow their own truth and this is because they will be focused on others.

One could put up with this or they could look for ways to experience life differently. Before long, they might soon come across the outlook that they shouldn’t care what other people think. They could come to the conclusion that this is exactly what they have been looking for and this is because it will allow them to lead the life they want.

The Answer

If one hasn’t been able to be themselves, it is only natural that this will be seen as the answer. This will allow one to live in their own world and to no longer be affected by others.

When it comes to living this way or living a life where one is constantly trying to please others, it is easy to see which one is the best option. In order to achieve this, one might be advised to think differently and to change their behaviour.

Change

So as time passes, one might start to change their behaviour and to work towards things that they had put off for so long, among other things. Their level of happiness and success could start to rise as a result.

However, while caring about what other people think is often seen as a bad thing, this is not always the case. Having the ability to care about what others think is part of having empathy. This doesn’t mean that one has to constantly walks on eggshells; what it means is that one is able to put themselves in other person’s shoes.

Empathy

There will be times when it will be important for one to not care about what others think and there will be times when it will be. But to go from one extreme to the other is going to cause one to come across as cold and as though they have no empathy.

If one is unable to behave as they want to behave, it is clear sign that they are too caught up in what other people think. But this doesn’t mean that they have to stop themselves from having empathy. If one wanted to enter a career that their friends or family are against, this may be a sign that one needs to put other people’s views to one side.

Anti-Social

Yet, if one lived next door to others and started bagging in the middle of the night or if they were to drive around a neighbourhood around the same time with their music blaring, it would be a good idea for them to care about what other people think.

This shows that it is not black white and how one needs to have the ability to care what other people think; it will all depend on what it relates to. Caring about what others think is therefore not just about approval; it is also about having empathy.

Developmental Needs

One approach would be for one to disconnect from their emotions and to no longer care about other people think. Another approach would be for one to look at why they have a high need for approval.

This may mean that their developmental needs were not met whilst they were growing up. On one side, this would have stopped them from being able to develop a strong sense of self and on the other; it would have prevented them from being able to emotionally separate from their caregivers.

Awareness

When this separation takes place, one will be strong enough to live their own truth without needing to completely cut themselves of from what other people think. In order to do this, one will need to be affirmed for who they are and they will need to grieve their unmet childhood needs.

This can take place with the assistance of a therapist, healer and/or a support group.

ArticlesBase