How to Avoid Stress at Work and Home

By Mohit Jain in attitude, Happiness, Stress Reduction, Success on January 5th, 2015 /  No Comments »

At one time or another in everyone’s life they have experienced some form of stress.  Stress is the state of emotional or mental strain that affects the mental as well as physical state of an individual. When a person is suffering from stress it can cause a lot of problems like:

• Anorexia or loss of appetite
• Lack of interest in things that they use to enjoy
• An increase in alcohol consumption
• Smoking more
• Decreased sexual drive
• Food cravings
• Having trouble sleeping or feeling tired
• Having trouble concentrating

If you are under a lot of stress at work there are ways that you can relieve it without displaying anger or raising your blood pressure.

• Learn to manage your time is an essential requirement if you want to learn how to deal with stress at work.  If you can learn to manage your time you will be able to complete most of your work with little effort and can result in reducing or even eliminating the stress that you face when you are faced with a deadline or with having work that needs to be done by end of day or the end of the month. Try to learn multitasking to help you finish your job quickly.
• Workouts—if you cannot get to a gym because of work situations try some workouts at home or take a walk during lunch at work. Exercise is important in helping you keep healthy both physically and mentally.
• Take a break—this does not mean your normal lunch and regular breaks but a real break like a vacation even if you just stay at home. Spend that time with friends and family and forget all about work. This will help to rejuvenate your spirit.

Dealing with stress at work and them coming home to deal with more stress can really put a strain on your health. While you are working on controlling your stress at work here are some things you can do to work on your stress at home.

• When you get home from work and on weekends learn how to relax. Some ways to do that is to listen to soothing music, take a walk with your family or friends, meditation, yoga, or even a warm relaxing bath. Do whatever helps you to relax because no two people relax in the same way.
• Learn to organize yourself because if everything around you is chaotic then you are more likely to feel stress out. Have a list of things that you need to do each day after you get off work and on weekends but do not forget time for fun. Use your crock-pot to have your supper ready when you get home from work.
• Get a hobby like building things out of wood, sewing, making crafts to sell at craft shows.
• Spend time with the family

These are just a few of the different things that you can do to help avoid stress.

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Limiting Beliefs and How They Can Affect Goals

By Just3minutesaday in Beliefs, Happiness, Manifesting Dreams, Prosperity, Stress Reduction, Success on December 26th, 2014 /  No Comments »

Limiting beliefs pop up a lot in coaching sessions. I love them because they are a chance for me to help my client really make progress on them, if they want to of course.

It often takes a few sessions for limiting beliefs to start popping up, once we have got a bit more trust going between us. It’s then I start to hear my coaching client talk about things that they can’t do because they aren’t good enough, they’ve had a disaster in the past or a bad experience with something they have tried.

My favourite question when I hear someone talk about something they aren’t good at is – where is your evidence for that? Recently I coached someone who is working to becoming a coach. She felt she was very lacking compared to other coaches in the area who talked about how many fabulous clients they had and how busy they were. She wasn’t in that position. She felt that she needed to explain her background and all about herself to convince people to deal with her, as if she had to authenticate herself as a coach before anyone would work with her.

At the same time she was working with someone she described as her “ideal” client, having been recommended to her by someone else.

Her focus however, was very much on what she hadn’t got compared to what she had got. So I asked her where her evidence was that she wasn’t worthy compared to the other coaches. She told me again about what they said to her, and how she felt when she was with them. I asked her again where her evidence was, not her feelings nor what the others said but the evidence. She couldn’t think of anything. Then I showed reminded her that she was working with her ideal client so had the evidence that she was a great coach already.

Beliefs are something that we take on board, often from others comments and views and also from our own understandings or generally misunderstandings of situations and others. The next time you feel that you are lacking in some way, or use the words don’t, can’t, should or would take some time to look for the evidence that supports this limiting belief. If you can find some then you can take action to put things right, if you can’t then take action to change your limiting belief.

Whatever you do don’t underestimate the power of limiting beliefs to stop you from making progress on your goals; they do this in a quiet and non-direct way so as not to give the game away. To power on with your goals you need to deal with limiting beliefs that may be an obstacle.

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Emotional Awareness: Is Emotional Awareness An Important Part Of Letting Go Of Grudges?

By Oliver JR Cooper in anxiety, Attention, attitude, Awareness, Happiness, Stress Reduction on December 22nd, 2014 /  No Comments »

There are going to be moments when one looks back and remembers someone who treated them well and then there are going to be moments when this isn’t the case. This could mean that one looks back and ends up feeling angry and this may not only relate to one person, it could relate to a number of people.

It might not matter if what is making them angry happened a few months ago or even a few years ago, as one can feel as though it is happening now. And while one may be going over the experience now, this could be something that happens on a regular basis.

A Regular Occurrence

Time has passed and yet, one doesn’t feel any different. And like a dog with a bone, one is unable to let go of how they felt as a result of what has happened to them. This could be an emotional experience that comes up every now and then or it could have taken over one’s life.

However, even if one’s attention is not completely consumed by what happened, it doesn’t mean that it is not having an effect on their life. The fact that one does get caught up in what happened could be enough for them to stay stuck on in the past.

Letting Go

Yet even though the past is having a negative impact on their life, it doesn’t mean that one is able to move on from what happened. In their mind, letting go could mean that one is letting the other person off and that what they did was acceptable.

Based on this out outlook, letting go is not an option – it is something that must be avoided. While one doesn’t feel good through holding onto what happened, letting go is not something that sounds any better.

Trapped

If one was to step back from what is taking place within them, they could end up feeling trapped. But at the same time, this can depend on how attached one is to what is happening within them. If one is completely consumed with anger and resentment, it might not be possible for them to see how the past is controlling them.

Although one may feel a sense of control though holding on to what happened, they have actually lost control. What happened would have caused one to experience pain and through holding on, they are allowing this pain to continue.

A Weed

One of the things that can cause a garden to be out of shape is when weeds grow. Now, in order for one to remove the weeds, they would need to dig them up or to use weed killer (if this is possible). What one would not do if they wanted to remove them, is to water them or add some kind of fertilizer.

It won’t matter if one is a gardener or not, as this is going to be relatively obvious. Yet, when it comes to holding onto past hurts, the same level of understanding is often absent.

Addicted

One could have a chocolate and then put the rest away, and this could be something that takes place once a week or even month. If one was to eat one and then carry on until the whole box is finished, they could begin to adjust to the higher intake and this could cause them to crave more.

And how one feels when they hold onto a grudge can follow the same route. In the beginning, one might have felt angry and resentful, and this may have been a new experience for them. But the more they felt this way, the more they adjusted to feeling this way and it then become an emotional experience that their body and mind needed to experience.

A Familiar Experience

As time passes, this becomes an emotional experience that is familiar and this means that it feels safe. It then won’t matter how destructive it is, as it is going to feel comfortable.

So if one was to stop feeling the same way, they may start to experience withdrawal symptoms. What this shows is that their mind and body have adjusted to something that is unhealthy.

Emotional Awareness

However, when one is caught up in how they feel, it is not going to be possible for them to step back and to see how their life is being affected. Through being aware of how one feels, it will give them the opportunity to see what is happening.

Holding onto what happened is not harming anyone else; the only person it is harming is oneself. So not only were they affected by what happened, they are continuing to hurt themselves due to what someone else has done.

On The Inside

It is clear that this is an inner experience, but what is not always as clear is the damage that can be done. When one feels resentful, they can feel as though they are getting back at the other person.

But how they feel towards another person is taking place in their body and mind, and this is where the damage is being done. This is why it is important for one to be emotionally aware, or they are not going to realise this. What they might become aware of down the line are the health problems that can arise through holding onto the past.

Awareness

Anger and resentment are going to be feelings that one is used to experiencing when it comes to holding a grudge, but these are likely to be a cover up for how they feel underneath. So it will be important for them to process how they feel at a deeper level.

This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Another approach that is often recommended is for one to write a letter to the other person about how they feel and then to burn it.

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Empaths: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Empaths?

By Oliver JR Cooper in anxiety, Attention, attitude, Beliefs, Intention, Intuition, Visions, Visualization on December 15th, 2014 /  No Comments »

While all human beings have a physical body, that doesn’t mean that they experience life in the same way. If one was to think about why this is, they might focus on how we are born into different environments and how these environments can be the defining factor.

However, without even going into the factors that might explain why everyone sees life differently, there are also differences when it comes to what is taking place within someone. Just because one has a physical body, it doesn’t mean that they have the same level of empathy as someone else.

There are going to be people who have what could be classed as a balanced sense of empathy, and then there are going to be others who are out of balance. One could be in a position where they have no empathy or they could have too much empathy.

Non-existent

When one has no empathy, they are not only going to be a danger to themselves, they are also going to be a danger to the people around them. And they could even end up being labelled as a psychopath. There is the chance that someone like this could be in prison and yet, they could also be found in the business world.

One’s lack of empathy could then be what has caused them to end up behind bars and at the same time, it could also be what has allowed them to rise to the top of their profession. Having no empathy is not going to assist one when it comes to having relationships, but it will aid them when it comes to certain areas of life.

More than Enough

If one has too much empathy, they are unlikely to be a danger to others, but they could be a danger to themselves. And while they are unlikely to be called cold, they could be classed as being overly sensitive.

They might do their best to avoid environments where there is too much going on and they could chose to spend a lot of time by themselves. One is then not in a room by themselves through force, they are there through choice.

On one hand, this can mean that one is able to form deeper connections to others and for people to warm to them, but it could also cause one to avoid others. Being around others could be overwhelming and this could mean that one is unable use their heightened sense of feeling to enhance their life.

Out of Control

When one has empathy, it is going to be another part of who they are and not something that will necessarily define their life. However, when one has a heightened sense of empathy, it is not going to be another part of their life, it could end up defining their whole life.

One is not going to feel as though their ability to empathise is another part of them; one is going to feel as though their empathy is in control of them. It is then not possible for one to decide who they empathise with or to protect their heart, as they are going to have no choice in the matter.

A Walking Sponge

It then won’t matter if one is talking to something or whether they are in a social environment and just walking past others, as they are going to be effected in the same way. Just being around other people will be enough for one to know what they are feeling. Being around others is going to cause one to be bombarded and they will feel defenceless.

It won’t matter if they are concerned about someone or not (or whether they are even facing them), as they will still absorb what they are going through. One is then like a sponge that has been put in water – in the beginning there will be water on one side and as time passes, the whole sponge will be end up being submerged.

Sense of Self

When one is around others, it is going to be challenge for them to maintain their sense of self. And this is because they are going to embody what is going on around them and what is going on for them is likely to be a mystery.

In fact, one might find it difficult to differentiate between their feelings and the feelings of others. Who they are could depend on who they are with and this is because one doesn’t have any boundaries.

Empaths

While there is the chance that one started to experienced life this way as an adult, it is likely to be something that one has experienced for the majority of their life. And when one experiences life this way, they are often described as being an empath.

It has been said that people are born this way and that it comes down to their genetics. There are others who believe that people are like this due to what happened during their childhood.

A Closer Look

If one was to look at how an empath experiences life, they might come to the conclusion that is not so much a special ability as it is a consequence of childhood trauma. When one feels that their life is under threat, their point of focus is no longer divided between what is taking place within them and what is taking place without, it is going to be on what is taking place around them.

And when a child feels under threat, they are likely to have less control than they would if they were an adult. It might not be safe for them to have boundaries and to therefore protect themselves. What could be safe is for them to remain boundary-less and to let the people around them do whatever they want.

Survival Mode

During one’s early years, it wouldn’t have been safe for them to just be; they would have had to have been in survival mode. Tuning into how the people around them were feeling was not something that they did to simply gain ‘approval’, it was something they had to do to either avoid being harmed or to know when they were about to be harmed in some way.

Through living in this kind of environment where one had to focus on others and the people around them were only focused on their own needs, one wouldn’t have been able to realise they were separate from them and their developed would have been stunted. So their needs and feelings would have been overlooked and they wouldn’t have been able to develop boundaries.

Awareness

The years will have passed, but their sense of self hasn’t been able to develop and one has remained in a symbiotic state. It will be important for them to process what happened to them all those years ago and as this is done, they will begin to develop a sense of self and their boundaries will also start to develop.

This doesn’t mean that one will no longer have this ability, what it is likely to mean is that one will begin to settle down and gain a great understanding of themselves. One can then use this ability to enhance their life as opposed to it being something that makes their life a misery.

The assistance of a therapist or a healer will be required, and they can hold the space so that one can let of the emotional pain that is within them. They will also be able to provide the positive regard that one didn’t receive all those years ago.

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