8. No One Will Help Me
This excuse really saddens me because there’s no truth in it whatsoever. The fact is that the world is filled with people who would jump at the chance to help you with whatever you’d like to create. But if you hold on to a false notion that no one will be there to help you, your experiences will match that belief.
If you’ve spent way too much of your life overweight, seriously addicted, lost in poverty, or what have you, then you need to realize that the ball is in your court – no more excuses! Once that belief begins changing, you’ll see help arriving, but the initial movement is completely in your thoughts.
It begins with this new belief: I can access help.
Begin encouraging yourself with affirmations that support and elevate your beliefs, such as: I have the capacity to create by myself if necessary, I know the right people to help me are here at the right time, and The world is full of people who would love to assist me. These will help to align you with the source of energy that’s always available to your intuitive self. Elevate your confidence further with this journal entry made in November 1843 by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“[I]f I have lost confidence in myself I have the Universe against me.”
You are the universe; you originated from the invisible world of Spirit. When you doubt yourself, you doubt the universal intelligence that you are, and it seems there’s no one to help you.
As an example from my own life, I repeat this thought from A Course in Miracles when I’m about to give a speech: “If you knew who walked beside you at all times on this path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.” As I approach the microphone/ podium, I remember that I’m an instrument for the words and ideas. My confidence trusts the wisdom that created me. In other words, I know that I am never alone. No one will help me becomes an invalid excuse.
I affirm that all that is needed or required will be there, and I consciously encourage myself with this unquestionable certainty.
And help seems to come from all directions: The money I need somehow shows up, the right people emerge, and circumstances occur that are unexpectedly helpful – almost as if some synchronistic force steps in and bewilders me with the beauty of it all!
I’m encouraged by my unquestionable power to elevate myself in any situation.
9. It Has Never Happened Before
“Be not the slave of your own past,” my literary soul mate, Ralph Waldo Emerson, wrote in his journal. Just because you’ve “always” been a particular way, this isn’t a rational explanation for your present state of affairs. In fact, it’s an excuse attempting to explain away what you feel are shortcomings.
The past is a trail you leave behind, much like the wake of a speedboat. That is, it’s a vanishing trail temporarily showing you where you were. The wake of a boat doesn’t affect its course – obviously it can’t, since it’s only appears behind the boat.
So consider this image when you exclaim that your past is the reason you aren’t moving forward. The logic of It’s never happened before or its equally debilitating corollary, It’s always been that way for me, stems from these beliefs:
My past is over, and what’s over can’t be changed. What happened before will happen again, so I’m being guided today by what can’t be changed; therefore, it’s impossible for me to change. It’s over for me. What I want has never happened before, and that means it will never, ever happen. This is what happens when you live in the trail you’ve left behind: convinced that your past is the reason why you can’t change, you hang on to it to excuse yourself from thinking differently.
Consciously choose a new set of affirmations that encourage you to believe in your ability to elevate your life above past levels. Try: I can accomplish anything I put my mind to here in the present moment. My past has no bearing on what I can and will create. If it has never happened before, that is all the more reason for me to make it happen now.
I will cease being a slave to my past. Inventory the mental excuses you have for avoiding risk, failure, criticism, ridicule, or the negative opinions of others. See how you’re creating them as the formation of your current excuse memes. Yes, I said memes – those ideas placed in your head from mimicking the ideas of others until they’ve become a set of mind viruses. When they’re put to the seven-part Excuses Begone! paradigm in Part III of this book, they’ll simply crumble right before your eyes because they have no substance.
I doubt this point could be better summarized than in the last lines of Carl Sandburg’s poem “Prairie”:
I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.
I tell you yesterday is a wind gone down,
a sun dropped in the west.
I tell you there is nothing in the world
only an ocean of tomorrows,
a sky of tomorrows.
Give up hanging on to that bucket of ashes. Recently I spent an afternoon swimming with the dolphins in the Mexican Riviera. I’d never done such a thing in all of my 68 years. But rather than telling myself that I couldn’t undertake such an outing because it’s never happened before, I reversed the logic and instead thought, Since I’ve never done this before, I want to add this to my repertoire and have this unique experience right now. And it was sensational!
Adopt this kind of thinking regarding everything you’ve “never done” before. Open up to vistas that bring you to a new way of being where you create wealth, health, and happiness in the present moment.
10. I’m Not Strong Enough
The “I’m not strong enough” excuse unquestionably keeps you locked into a habituated way of thinking. Years spent believing in your weakness actually strengthens the belief that you aren’t an emotionally, spiritually, or physically capable individual. It only takes a little bit of criticism to discourage you and activate this belief: I’m not a strong person, so I’ll resort to my true self, who is weak.
The idea that you aren’t tough enough to hold a certain job, stand up to a bully or victimizer, take care of yourself, face life alone, or travel by yourself are all mind viruses that are ready excuses when life gets tough. This is true on a collective level as well.
I spent a couple of years teaching American history, with a special interest in colonial America. I was always intrigued by how the United States broke free from the small island on the other side of the ocean that had ruled it with an iron fist for so many years. The message that the British had always sent was:
“We are strong, and you, fledgling wannabes, are weak.”
The result was a kind of servitude that had kept the colonists in excuse mode but was ultimately brought to a halt once and for all. The transformation required a paradigm shift, which ultimately resulted in new thinking habits. It began with that great assortment of Founding Fathers from north to south, who challenged the mind virus that they were weak and the British were strong.
When enough of these courageous leaders shared their beliefs about American might, the new meme began to replicate, infiltrate, and spread throughout the 13 colonies. In that vein, here’s a portion of a speech delivered by Patrick Henry before the Second Revolutionary Convention of Virginia in 1775:
“We are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature has placed in our power. . . . The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave.”
Shift out of the mental belief that you’re too weak. Become vigilant and active, and demonstrate a new kind of bravery. Affirm that you’re breaking free of thinking habits that have convinced you you’re not a strong person. Here are some affirmations: I shall never see myself as lacking in strength again. What you think of me is none of my business. My strength is my connection to Source; it does not know weakness.
Become conscious of the fact that seeing this belief as an excuse illuminates its weakness, but it also strengthens your ability to encourage yourself. You possess all the fortitude of character, mind, and body to live at the highest levels of happiness, health, and prosperity. Let these words of Mohandas K. Gandhi inspire you:
“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
11. I’m Not Smart Enough
Your vast intelligence isn’t measurable by an IQ test, nor is it susceptible to the analysis of school transcripts. Your ideas or beliefs about what you’d like to be, accomplish, or attract are evidence of your genius. If you’re capable of conceiving it, then that act of visual conception, combined with your passion for manifesting your idea into reality, is all you need to activate your genius.
If you think that it’s impossible to categorize yourself as a genius, I emphatically ask: Why not? You originated in the same infinite field of intention as everyone else who’s ever lived. Your mind is a component of the mind of God or the universal Tao, so how could it be other than the brilliance of the Creator?
Were you not created out of this vast sea of invisible intelligence? Are your ideas somehow inferior, or incapable of being transformed into this material world? Even as a part of you hangs on to the “I’m not smart enough” excuse, another part recognizes this truth.
When you state, “I’ve never been smart enough,” you’re really saying, “I’ve bought into a definition of intelligence that’s measured by what family members or educators provided me with earlier in life.” You can give yourself encouraging input instead of the discouraging messages from your past by knowing that intelligence can never be measured, nor can it in any way be limited.
So if you’re willing to put your passion and perseverance into your ideas, you’ll meet the genius part of you. Even if you subscribe to the idea that this excuse is warranted because your brain is somehow not up to par, consider the conclusions that Sharon Begley offers in her book Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain.
Here’s what she says about the power of the brain to change, not through prescription drugs, but through the will: “The conscious act of thinking about one’s thoughts in a different way changes the very brain circuits that do that thinking . . .” and “The ability of thought and attention to physically alter the brain echoes one of Buddhism’s more remarkable hypotheses: that will is a real, physical force that can change the brain.”
So even if you want to hang on to the excuse that your brain is chemically deficient, you have within you the power to change its material makeup – you can rearrange your old thinking system so that it conforms with the genius model. Why not think that the ideas in your head are by-products of your genius instead of a limited intelligence?
Let what Oscar Wilde is said to have remarked to a New York City customs official encourage you. When asked if he had anything to declare, he responded, “I have nothing to declare but my genius,” and in many ways, he was absolutely correct.
When you trust in yourself, you trust in the very wisdom that created you. Make a conscious effort not to second-guess that originating wisdom. Like Oscar Wilde, have only your genius to declare. Trust your elevated thoughts, especially those that stir up passion, and then act on them as if they were unquestionable.
Stay tuned for part 4 – I’m Too Old (or Not Old Enough)
Available now from Hayhouse: Wayne Dyer – Excuses Begone
It will look like this: A Catalog of Some Common Excuses – Part III