It is easy to misunderstand yourself and others and often difficult to move beyond that misunderstanding to universally accepting things as they are.

The world is full of suffering. Holding on to hurt and our own suffering guarantees a world of continuing pain, dysfunction, disconnection, failure, and misery. The key to conquering this negativity is to develop compassion and mercy in our lives and to apply those virtues as tools in our dealings with others. It begins with simple acts of forgiveness and an expectation of compassion.

Compassion is a human emotion that is experienced by perceived pain and suffering in others. Etymologically, the word compassion means to suffer together with. Compassion often involves an active desire to alleviate another’s suffering. Various cultures and spiritual traditions around the world have recognized the value of compassion within the individual as a key component to spiritual maturity.

Life is a never-ending story of highs and lows. But if you can honestly and absolutely forgive the people who offend and deeply wound you along the way, the unavoidable slings and arrows of life are decidedly less piercing.

Foremost, it’s imperative that you view forgiveness as a self-empowering tool – a liberating act done for your enduring benefit. Forgiving another human being allows you to unfetter an emotional ball and chain that you’ve been dragging around for all too long a time.

So, exactly where do you begin your forgiveness voyage? There are seven simple, but nonetheless profound, steps you can walk through to realize the rich benefits of genuine forgiveness. The journey starts with basic recognition:

Remember the Incredible Hulk TV show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno? It was an episodic TV series in the 1970s featuring a timid scientist and his monstrous alter ego. Whenever Bruce Banner (Bixby) got angry, he would turn into a rampaging green monster (Ferrigno in body paint), oblivious to reason and bent on destruction. The giant beast was so focused on his own rage that he lashed out at anyone and anything that had the misfortune to be near him.

Fortunately that is just fiction. In real life we don’t turn green when we let anger control us. The rest is fairly accurate, though. It may not manifest itself physically as it did with the Hulk, but anger does transform a person in some very unpleasant ways.

Resentment is a common emotion, though commonly misunderstood. We may not always be able to control our other emotions, but we at least understand anger, love, despair and the rest. Resentment is an emotion that we often feel without fully recognizing it for what it is, or even being able to properly put the name to it.

What is Resentment?
Before we can deal with resentment, we need to understand what it is and how it affects us. Resentment is a feeling of displeasure or indignation that stems from an incident, real or perceived, that is hurtful. When you resent someone it will color all your future interactions, no matter how trivial, with that person.