It is a situation that we have all faced. We’ve all been hurt by someone and allowed that hurt to fester into anger and bitterness. Ironically enough anger, viewed by many as a defense mechanism, only increases our own pain. Only when we allow ourselves to forgive do we move beyond the feelings of bitterness and back to our natural, intended state of happiness.

Anger can be debilitating. Not in the moment – we all get angry sometimes. But when we hold onto our anger, it turns to bitterness and poisons our thoughts, relationships, and our lives. By refusing to let go of a hurt, we actually increase the hurt to ourselves. Bitterness has never given even a small measure of satisfaction to a wronged party.

The mystery of Michael Jackson’s death is not really a mystery at all. What killed Jackson is a broken heart – one that was wounded a long time ago.

From early childhood, Jackson was emotionally and physically abused by his father, suffering relentless and grueling music rehearsals, beatings, and verbal abuse. His childhood abuse continued to affect him all throughout his adult life. In one episode (which was later confirmed by Marlon Jackson) his father, Joseph, held Michael upside down by one leg and “pummeled him over and over again with his hand, hitting him on his back and buttocks.” Joseph would often slam his sons into walls.

How is authentic happiness different from synthetic happiness?

Ten years of scientific findings from some of the world’s most prestigious institutions have shown that lasting fulfillment and sustainable happiness cannot be synthesized from the material or the physical world. That is, success in any respect – whether it is financial, professional, romantic, social, physical, or otherwise – does not lead to a happy life.

Successful life circumstances, by and large, will not guarantee that you live happily ever after. In other words, there are no purely “happy circumstances” in this life – no circumstances that serve as a one-stop-shop for creating a happy life.

There are plenty of learning curves to choose from. Traditionally, many of us have used pain and suffering and sacrifice and failure as our chief learning curves. If this is true for you, you have probably attended the school of hard knocks, and you have employed grief and heartache as your teachers.

It is well to remember, however, that you can also choose from a range of more pleasant learning curves, such as love as a learning curve, authenticity as a learning curve, and success as a learning curve.

You choose your learning curve. No one or nothing else makes this choice for you.