Limiting beliefs pop up a lot in coaching sessions. I love them because they are a chance for me to help my client really make progress on them, if they want to of course.
It often takes a few sessions for limiting beliefs to start popping up, once we have got a bit more trust going between us. It’s then I start to hear my coaching client talk about things that they can’t do because they aren’t good enough, they’ve had a disaster in the past or a bad experience with something they have tried.
My favourite question when I hear someone talk about something they aren’t good at is – where is your evidence for that? Recently I coached someone who is working to becoming a coach. She felt she was very lacking compared to other coaches in the area who talked about how many fabulous clients they had and how busy they were. She wasn’t in that position. She felt that she needed to explain her background and all about herself to convince people to deal with her, as if she had to authenticate herself as a coach before anyone would work with her.
At the same time she was working with someone she described as her “ideal” client, having been recommended to her by someone else.
Her focus however, was very much on what she hadn’t got compared to what she had got. So I asked her where her evidence was that she wasn’t worthy compared to the other coaches. She told me again about what they said to her, and how she felt when she was with them. I asked her again where her evidence was, not her feelings nor what the others said but the evidence. She couldn’t think of anything. Then I showed reminded her that she was working with her ideal client so had the evidence that she was a great coach already.
Beliefs are something that we take on board, often from others comments and views and also from our own understandings or generally misunderstandings of situations and others. The next time you feel that you are lacking in some way, or use the words don’t, can’t, should or would take some time to look for the evidence that supports this limiting belief. If you can find some then you can take action to put things right, if you can’t then take action to change your limiting belief.
Whatever you do don’t underestimate the power of limiting beliefs to stop you from making progress on your goals; they do this in a quiet and non-direct way so as not to give the game away. To power on with your goals you need to deal with limiting beliefs that may be an obstacle.
It will look like this: Limiting Beliefs and How They Can Affect Goals