I have an acquaintance who recently approached me with a dilemma. She declared that despite her best intention to make a number of life changes, she doesn’t really feel like she has accomplished much this year. In fact, she said she has been stuck for about five years now; broke, sad, confused, lethargic, etc. Though she does seem to “do” a lot when it comes to self-help (reading, writing, encouraging others, etc.), she is missing some major key ingredients to seeing real change in her life. Listen to her words as she describes her dilemma.
“Here it is nearing 2014 and I’ve taken the last week to wallow in my self-pity because I am almost exactly in the same spot I was one year ago. Oh, I had all sorts of awesome goals for 2013 a year ago and don’t get me wrong, I have progressed in some ways, but as I honestly gauge my life, it is pretty much looking the same as it did one year ago.
- I’m still living pay cheque to pay cheque with no money in savings.
- I didn’t pay off my car like I said I would.
- I didn’t get my book proposal done (or really even started).
- I didn’t take on a new hobby, meet new friends, challenge myself, get out of a toxic relationship, learn Spanish, create more income streams, etc.
Now this is coming from someone who takes time each week to invest in personal development. I listen to and read inspirational, motivational, and encouraging messages. I write quite a bit about how to live the life you love, manifest those goals, get that dreamy lover, climb the corporate ladder, overcome those defects, etc. How can I be so “success” conscious and still year after year still be chasing it while not attaining it?
Something major has got to change! You know the phrase “Nothing changes if nothing changes?” Well, I assure you that nothing changes sometimes even when there are little tweaks here and there. Sometimes maybe you have to do a MAJOR overhaul in order to bust down the walls, get over the humps, change the vibration level, and SEE change.
So, for 2014, what am I going to do different? What MAJOR things can I do to really see some change within one year? How can I sit down next December and write an article on HOW AWESOME MY YEAR WAS? What will it take? I know it can’t take the same ole’, same ole’.
Hmmm. Maybe for once I will finally get that Life Coach I have talked about getting (yet felt like I didn’t NEED such; I could do it on my own). Yet, I obviously CAN’T do it on my own! So that is my first goal and I am writing it down now:
Get a Life Coach.”
My friend has made some key insights about change. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I’ve realised that while some people have good intentions, their actions don’t line up to support them. Whilst they may list a number of goals they’re sure to accomplish, one, two or three years later those goals remain way off in the distance because they didn’t take the necessary actions to accomplish those goals.
I understand that sometimes it is just easier to settle for status quo. Many people settle as such:
- Settle for living pay cheque to pay cheque instead of actually doing something different.
- Settle for a toxic relationship because you don’t want to be alone or hurt your partner.
- Settle for that mediocre job that you dread because doing something different requires effort.
- Settle for negativity because the pain associated with it is somehow comforting and comfortable.
My friend admits that she has great intentions and really wants to see change, but she can’t seem to get over some cycles and hurdles on her own. She tries, yet year after year she is still struggling. She may start off with a bang and one month later she is back to the familiar routine.
Friends, change requires EFFORT. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone, digging deep, stirring up some passion, and going for it with all you have! You know why some people are successful and others are not? Most of the time it is because the successful people work hard toward the pursuit of their goals. They understand the mindset that hard work (and wisdom) pays off.
Life isn’t all about “success”, yet most of us want to be successful in most areas. If we’re not experiencing success (or accomplishing our goals and desires), then something has to change. My advice to my friend is certainly to work with a coach to get past the hurdles, to lay out some clear cut short and long terms goals plus an action plan to achieve them, and a lot of accountability. I find that accountability is a great motivating factor for those who want to see change.
What about you? As 2013 ends I want you to sit down and think about what you’ve accomplished this year. Did you achieve your goals? Are you moving forward toward your goals? Are you happy with your progress and where you are on your journey? What would you like to see different? What does your optimal life look like?
I believe we can create a life we love, so let’s do it!
It will look like this: Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes