Resentment – A Real Danger to the State of Happiness

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Resentment is a common emotion, though commonly misunderstood. We may not always be able to control our other emotions, but we at least understand anger, love, despair and the rest. Resentment is an emotion that we often feel without fully recognizing it for what it is, or even being able to properly put the name to it.

What is Resentment?
Before we can deal with resentment, we need to understand what it is and how it affects us. Resentment is a feeling of displeasure or indignation that stems from an incident, real or perceived, that is hurtful. When you resent someone it will color all your future interactions, no matter how trivial, with that person.

How to Brake the Cycle of Blame and Pain

Monday, July 6th, 2009

It’s been called the “Blame Game”. It’s a favorite pass time of politicians everywhere. You know it is coming when a public official (or anyone else, for that matter) starts a faux apology with “I’m sorry if you…” The subtle shifting of the blame from to the recipient of the apology has been elevated to an art form in some political circles. In the real world, however, blame and forgiveness cannot walk hand in hand.

We’ve all heard the expression “I can forgive, but I won’t forget“. What that really translates to is “I’m forgiving you for now, but I reserve the right to un-forgive at some point in the future.” Forgiving without forgetting is not truly forgiving. You cannot sincerely and completely forgive someone if you continue to blame the person for the offense.

How to get from Bitterness to Happiness with Forgiveness

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

It is a situation that we have all faced. We’ve all been hurt by someone and allowed that hurt to fester into anger and bitterness. Ironically enough anger, viewed by many as a defense mechanism, only increases our own pain. Only when we allow ourselves to forgive do we move beyond the feelings of bitterness and back to our natural, intended state of happiness.

Anger can be debilitating. Not in the moment – we all get angry sometimes. But when we hold onto our anger, it turns to bitterness and poisons our thoughts, relationships, and our lives. By refusing to let go of a hurt, we actually increase the hurt to ourselves. Bitterness has never given even a small measure of satisfaction to a wronged party.