One of my favorite quotes about love and marriage comes from Oscar Wilde: A Man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. While that saying makes me laugh, Wilde is also getting to something important: Marriage is tricky.

And in today’s society where the martial woes of everyone from the Sanfords to John and Kate Gosselin are headline news, we are presented with every reason in the world to give up on our relationships — and fewer and fewer reasons to stay. While researching my most recent novel, I sat down and spoke to women, men, and married couples about why they do stay. And, sometimes, why they wished they had. This is the best advice I’ve found.

There was a flurry of excitement as each kite took off  into the open sky.  My kids were squealing away in delight when theirs started catching some wind.  We were on a kite flying outing organized by their weekend dharma class.  On each kite, each child has written his or her most desired dream.  For a while, I stood enraptured by the sight of colorful kites dancing against a sky blue canvas.

As I watched, I started to recall what I have read.  I went back in time to the 19th century when two brothers had an idea which eventually became their passionate and consuming dream. On Friday December 17, 1903 at 10:35 AM, the Wright brothers (Wilbur and Orville) flew “the world’s first power-driven, heavier-than-air machine in which man made free, controlled, and sustained flight.” Their memorable feat took place at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on a cold windy morning.

If you want to live a dream life, not only must you decide what you want, turn your dream into measurable goals, break those goals down into specific action steps, and visualize and affirm your desired outcomes – you must start taking action!

I recommend making the commitment to do something every day in at least three different areas of your life that moves you in the direction of your goal. If one of your goals is physical fitness, make a commitment to do some sort of exercise – aerobics, weight training, stretching – four to five times a week for a minimum of twenty minutes.

Hand’s down, one of the most popular questions I’m asked by students is this… “Jack, what are your most important daily actions that you correlate with your success.”

In fact, Oprah Winfrey asked me a similar question just days before appearing on her show. She asked me to come up with some easy-to-apply steps for her viewers to start applying The Law of Attraction in their lives.

One of the basic first steps is to determine, write down and talk about what you do want, not what you don’t want. Be as specific as possible. Once you have clarified what you want, do the following each and every day.