Can you change the past?

Monday, May 13th, 2013

Can you go back and change the past, or are you stuck with what you remember?

That’s the key: what you remember. The fact is, our brains are stuffed with memories, only some of which we retrieve, convincing ourselves we have a true and complete picture of the past when in fact we have a partial, often negative, picture of our history.

Why the emphasis on the negative? Our nervous systems record unpleasant events, including the cues that lead up to them, rapidly. Then they cling as if they were barnacles on a hull. Pleasant things, on the other hand, are stored more slowly and fade more quickly. Why? Because of our need to learn and respond quickly to threatening signals, signals that might threaten our very life.

The Key to Successful Relationships Part 1 of 2

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Every single person in your life is a mirror – knowing this is the key to all successful relationships. Others are simply reflecting parts of your own consciousness back to you, giving you an opportunity to really see yourself.

The qualities you most admire in others are your own and the same goes for those qualities you dislike. To change anything in your relationships, be the change you want to see – it is the only relationship advice you will ever need to transform your relationships into the joyful experience they are meant to be.

5 Reasons to Stay with the Person You Love

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

One of my favorite quotes about love and marriage comes from Oscar Wilde: A Man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. While that saying makes me laugh, Wilde is also getting to something important: Marriage is tricky.

And in today’s society where the martial woes of everyone from the Sanfords to John and Kate Gosselin are headline news, we are presented with every reason in the world to give up on our relationships — and fewer and fewer reasons to stay. While researching my most recent novel, I sat down and spoke to women, men, and married couples about why they do stay. And, sometimes, why they wished they had. This is the best advice I’ve found.

Tame The Angry Hulk With The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Sunday, July 12th, 2009

Remember the Incredible Hulk TV show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno? It was an episodic TV series in the 1970s featuring a timid scientist and his monstrous alter ego. Whenever Bruce Banner (Bixby) got angry, he would turn into a rampaging green monster (Ferrigno in body paint), oblivious to reason and bent on destruction. The giant beast was so focused on his own rage that he lashed out at anyone and anything that had the misfortune to be near him.

Fortunately that is just fiction. In real life we don’t turn green when we let anger control us. The rest is fairly accurate, though. It may not manifest itself physically as it did with the Hulk, but anger does transform a person in some very unpleasant ways.