We live in a world defined by money and control — at least that’s the world that subconsciously holds sway over our lives for most of us. We have been conditioned to accept that money and control are what make it possible to live a good life, provide for our children, and as the most sought after means to gain recognition and acceptance within our society.

To be sure, having money and control mean having power and influence, and the extremely wealthy often do hold the public’s eye more often than not. Working hand in hand with money is the exercise of control. Money doesn’t mean much if one has no control over external forces. Money is often highly prized as a way of gaining desired control over one’s privacy, life experiences, sense of accomplishment, and emotional fulfillment. We often base our happiness on on money. We often feel hopelessly unfulfilled due to a perceived lack of it.

The root of much unhappiness is comparison. Comparison gets in the way of healthy self-appreciation — and thus happiness – more than anything else. Because of comparison, hardly anybody is ever happy with what they get and nothing’s ever good enough for practically everybody. That’s because we measure our success in anything by comparing it to what others have or to what we have had before.

In other words, whether you are happy with what you get depends on how it measures up to some norm. That norm depends on two things: what other people get (social comparison), and what you yourself are used to getting (habituation). It is hard for success in any form (money, status, prestige, and so on) to improve your happiness because as actual success rises, the norm by which success is judged rises in step.

Your assignment is to live a charmed life in the midst of people who don’t believe you can do it , and to accomplish this despite them, not to spite them.

Chances are there is at least one significant person in your life who thinks that all this charmed-life stuff is ridiculous. They may have told you to grow up, be realistic, and get with the program. Of course, it’s their program, some variation on the theme of “Very few people do anything exceptional, and you won’t be one of them.”

They might begrudge the time you spend reading books like this one and putting the suggestions you find there into practice. They may cite every time you’ve been sad or angry or things didn’t work out the way you wanted as evidence that you’re deluding yourself.

I Don’t Have the Energy
Not having the vitality to fulfill your life purpose is part of a learned response. I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I’m worn out, and I’m too weary are just a few varieties of mind viruses that have infected you, consciously or not.

They’re generally an unintended excuse as opposed to a legitimate explanation for not doing the things you want to do. Accept the belief that you’re lacking the energy to make significant changes in your life and you latch on to a flimsy, albeit very effective, strategy for maintaining some pretty slovenly habits.