The Key to Motivation

By Tony Fahkry in attitude, Awareness, Happiness, Life Purpose, Procrastination, Prosperity, Success on September 29th, 2014 /  No Comments »

What does motivation represent to you? How do you motivate yourself? Do you require constant motivation? I want you to consider these questions throughout this article.

Motivation has come to embody a pivotal role in people’s lives within the developed world. Those from non-English speaking countries often lament how lazy we are in English speaking countries. Work ethic remains consistently high within the Asian and European countries. This cultural ethos is passed down from generations and instilled in their young.

Motivation implies one is lacking in this virtue. I gained an exhaustive education in motivation at the mercy of highly motivated parents. They were working class immigrants who arrived in Australia shortly after being married. Like many other migrants who settled early in the sixties, they worked hard to provide a quality of life for their loved ones. However, the idea of motivation still remains a non-descript term for my mother. I cannot recall a time in her life when she needed motivation.

Motivation stems from two main principles: desire and will. It encompasses a purposeful intent to give life to an aspect of one’s personal character.

I hold firm to the belief that you cannot motivate other people if they are lacking in desire and will. Rather you may inspire them, or as the idiom reminds us, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”

Recall an experience where you had to motivate someone against their will. No doubt there’s been an instance where a friend, family member or loved one required a gentle nudge. Was it a challenge to motivate them? Did they achieve their desired outcome?

An aspect of my work entails working with individuals as well as small to large groups. My duty of care is to inspire my clients by guiding them to explore their talents and inner resources. Over the years the more I sought to motivate a person, the less likely they were to achieve their chosen result. Motivating a person devoid of inspiration is futile in the long run, since there is no inherent drive arising from within.

Many of my regular clients present themselves to training since they have sought the motivation to do so long ago. Anyone who gets out of bed at 5am in the morning to exercise is motivated. I am simply providing the medium and the expertise to deliver a directed training program tailored to their specific goals. They are clear on their health goals. They simply require the expertise and know-how to deliver results.

I may often provide them with sources of inspiration as the going gets tough. Due to their hectic work-life schedules, many of them find it difficult to exercise consistently, while simultaneously remaining motivated.

So how do you attain motivation to achieve any number of goals? Listed below are three useful summaries for acquiring motivation when experiencing a brief lapse in enthusiasm.

  1. What is holding you back?: This may be a crucial question to consider for overcoming a lack of motivation. Remaining stuck is an indicator that you have plateaued or reached your highest point in your journey. Perhaps you have hit a sticking point in relation to exercise, nutrition or other personal matters and require expert assistance to guide you tothe next phase. Exchange ideas with people whom you trust and have a sympathetic ear to your plight. Seek the advice of those who have walked the path before you.
  2. A blessing in disguise: In his book Way of the Peaceful Warrior, author Dan Millman reminds us that our setbacks may be paving the way for something greater, “When we feel stuck, going nowhere – even starting to slip backward – we may actually be backing up to get a running start.” What may initially appear like failure on first impression might in fact be your greatest opportunity for success. Oftentimes being stuck serves to prompt you to find a way out of your dilemma. When you meet with painful moments, the mind hastily signals its aversion for this state and seeks to find a way through. Your mind is habituated toward seeking pleasure, not pain.
  3. One step at a time: We are lured in to a false promise that when we acquire something or someone, we will be happy and fulfilled. This inaccurate way of thinking conditions your mind to neglect the most important process which lies in-between, i.e. the journey. I am reminding you to enjoy the journey by reconnecting with the purpose of your pursuit. Your journey entails the people you meet, the friendships formed, the person you become, the knowledge you acquire and the lessons gained. Without these significant measures, you risk becoming an unfulfilled somebody waiting for the nextadventure. Following this line of thought, you are continually arriving at your destination instead of striving.

Wherever you are in your life’s journey, take some time out to reflect on how far you have come. Examine the root cause of your suffering and where necessary, make adjustments to your goals as required. Don’t be fixed on HOW you will achieve your goals or plans – be open and flexible. You’ll know you’re on the right track when your goals begin to manifest with ease and perfection.

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Overcome any Obstacle

By Tony Fahkry in Abundance, Attention, attitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Learning, Life Purpose on September 22nd, 2014 /  No Comments »

“In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the King’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.

After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us will never understand: “Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.”

Whilst this story depicts a sentimental scene of overcoming obstacles, it nonetheless underscores the importance of pushing past your impediments.

Obstacles are present in everyday life, be it a barrier that sets you back, halts your progress or derails your best laid plans. They can be discouraging and cause loss of precious time and resources.

Beyond the cause of frustration what purpose do obstacles serve? Could there be a gift contained within the experience? Perhaps you need to become acquainted with a certain skill or acquire valuable knowledge before proceeding with your plans.

We must consider that obstacles serve a function other than causing emotional distress. Contesting reality will not earn you support, since life always prevails. Leaning in to your challenges however, allows you to move THROUGH the obstacle rather than allow it to dominate your life.

By leaning in to your challenges, you welcome the flow of life through your non-resistance. You allow the obstacle to permeate your life in order to identify the significance of the hurdle.

The following points serve as a guide for overcoming most obstacles. Be willing to abandon endeavours that do not deliver results. Far too many people discount the value of redirecting their attention elsewhere when all attempts have been exhausted. Pride, self-worth and time invested are the main reasons cited for flogging a dead horse.

  1. Distance yourself emotionally: When facing an obstacle, emotions run high since you are reacting to the ensuing drama. Step back mentally and emotionally by viewing the obstacle from a greater perspective. An accomplished Australian artist noted when she oil paints, prefers to take regular breaks throughout the painting process. This allows her to return to her work with a fresh set of eyes and approach painting from a completely different vantage point. You might adopt the same approach with your obstacle – take a break from it for a while and return to it with renewed enthusiasm when the time is right.
  2. Seek out necessary resources: Oftentimes you may be lacking certain provisions, finances, strategies or a key piece of knowledge to conquer your obstacle. The key is to acknowledge that your obstacle is ‘resource related’. For example you may require a key software program to automate a process, freeing you up to direct your attention to more important work. Consult with those who can help you move through the hurdle. As they say, enlist a fresh pair of eyes to see what you may be lacking.
  3. Gain perspective: It can be overwhelming when an unforeseen obstacle emerges. Getting caught up in the ensuing crisis redirects vital resources required to make critical decisions. Gaining perspective allows you to step away from the ‘noise’. You might seek help from others, talk to friends or loved ones who may offer a different assessment of your challenge. Perspective does not imply distancing yourself in apathy. It simply means viewing the obstacle from numerous vantage points while considering other options.
  4. Evaluate the obstacle: Can something be done now to overcome the obstacle or does it require specialised assistance? Consider the obstacle objectively as though you were seeing it for the first time. Engage your logical mind by applying sound judgement to the task ahead. Avoid becoming emotionally invested while enslaved to the task.
  5. Remain focussed and committed: Oftentimes an obstacle is not intended to weaken your endeavours. Rather it is an invitation to get clear on the process in order to progress to the next stage. It is advising you to attend to a particular aspect now rather than the future, when you have invested valuable time and energy. You might recall Thomas Edison’s well-known passage regarding 1,000 ways that did not work to invent the light bulb. Be unrelenting in your commitment – do not give up. Do not allow setbacks to get you down. You are bound to fall upon many setbacks in life. Obstacles help enrich your mental experience in so far as building resilience, fortitude and strength. Every time you tackle a problem, you overcome a mental hurdle.
  6. Develop a growth mindset: In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success author Carol Dweck delves deep into the two different mindsets required for success: fixed or growth focussed mindsets. She provides the reader with a comprehensive foundation for developing a growth mindset, meaning thinking about continuous improvement and building on your successes. She reminds us,”The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.”

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Self Worth: Do You Alternate Between Feeling Really Good And Really Bad?

By Oliver JR Cooper in Abundance, anxiety, Attention, attitude, Awareness, Life Purpose, Success on September 19th, 2014 /  No Comments »

While the ideal might be for one to experience a balanced sense of self worth, this is not always what takes place. Instead, one might experience life in such a way that they feel up one moment and down the next.

This is not to say that one won’t have moments where they don’t feel up or down; as they may well have moments when this is the case. To have moments when one feels elated and moments where they feel dejected are part of life.

But this is radically different to someone who feels as though they can take on the world one moment and as though they can’t get out of bed in the next. And there are going to be moments in everyone’s life when they feel good and moments when they feel bad.

Emotional State

This is part of the ebb and flow of life and how it is impossible for one to always feel good. At times, one is going to experience things externally and internally that will cause them to feel good, just as there will be internal and external experiences that will cause them to feel bad.

The only way one would be able to stop themselves from feeling different would be for them to disconnect from their emotions or to take anti depressants or something similar. Here, one might be without emotions and end up being emotionally numb.

They would no longer experience an emotional flow and they might find that they no longer feel down. But as a result of this inner change, one might find it difficult to feel good.

The Difference

So it is normal to experience a whole range of feelings and this plays a part in one being able to experience a rich and varied existence. If one always felt good for instance, they would become num to this feeling and it would lose its value. It is through having the ability to feel bad that one is able to appreciate feeling good.

However, there are going to be some people who not only experience emotional ups and downs, but who experience ups and downs when it comes to their level of self worth. And while this could be something they have become accustomed to, it has got nothing to do with the ebb and flow of life.

Normal

This is not the same as when one starts a new job or when a relationship comes to an end and they doubt their abilities or value as a human being, for example. In the first case, one might be doing something they haven’t done before and so it is normal to experience discomfort.

And in the second example, one is no longer with the person they were with and the other person is no longer there to affirm them. So to question ones value for a short time is a normal part of experiencing loss.

Up And Down

When one feels up one moment and down the next, their career could be factor as could their relationships. But while feeling doubt or experiencing loss may have a momentary affect on one’s self worth, it is unlikely to cause them to feel completely worthless.

That is unless one doesn’t have a healthy level of self worth and swings between feeling really good and really bad. If this is the case, it might not matter what is taking place in their life, as the same inner experience can occur.

Extremes

One then doesn’t have the odd moment where they feel down or up or even experience a slight variation in how they feel, how they feel about themselves dramatically changes from one moment to the next.

It is then practically impossible for them to maintain their self worth and to be consistent in how they behave. This might be how they have always experienced life, and it is then part of life and something they have had to put up with.

Two Options

During those moments when one feels good, it is likely to be a wonderful experience. They are ready to take on the world and to face their challenges head on. Here, one can feel strong, capable, and confident and as though they deserve what life has to offer.

If this was how one generally experienced life it would be fine, but this is nothing more than the calm before the storm. When they no longer feel this way, they’re unlikely to feel centred and at peace and they could feel as though they don’t deserve to exist.

Avoidance

That’s if they allow themselves to experience the thoughts and feelings that appear during these moments; as they might end up engaging in some kind of escape or have a certain addiction. Through this, one is able to repress what is taking place within them and to feel better.

After this, they might end up feeling on top of the world again and then before long, the same thing can happen all over again. And all the time one avoids how they feel, they’re not going to be able to change their life.

What’s Going On?

When one feels good about themselves it is going mean that they have repressed how they feel at a deeper level. And when one feels bad about themselves it is going to mean that how they feel has risen to the surface.

If one faces how they feel they’re likely to experience shame, but this is not healthy shame, it is toxic shame. And this is what is causing one to feel as though they are worthless.

A Parasite

One may have experienced verbal, physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse as a child and/or as an adult. However, while one’s mind may have disconnected from what took place and have no recollection of what happened, the shame they felt during these moments has stayed trapped in their body.

And like parasite, it has infiltrated ones whole being and one then ends up believing that it reflects their true nature. This toxic shame, along with the other feelings that are in the body, will need to be faced and released. The assistance of a therapist or a healer is likely to be needed hear.

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5 Important Reasons Why Hypnotherapy Works

By HypnotherapyAdelaide in Abundance, Affirmation, Beliefs, Inspiration, Life Purpose, Visualization on September 15th, 2014 /  No Comments »

Every year, various mental disorders affect millions of people around the world. Anxiety, for instance, may be experienced as only a brief episode occurring only once. For others, however, this anxiety may recur many times, thus impacting lives quite significantly.

Whatever the disorder, it can become a very debilitating condition – especially when left untreated. In recent years, hypnosis and hypnotherapy have slowly become recognized as potentially effective for people with such disorders. This has led to many people in California, Adelaide, and other places to seek out this treatment as an option.

Only licensed practitioners may use hypnotherapy on patients, of course – with the latter being encouraged to see their physicians before approaching a hypnotherapist. Courses to learn the practice and later become licensed are offered in a good number of places, such as Yorkshire and Adelaide, to name a few.

Despite high potential effectiveness, it might not be for everyone. Nonetheless,  hypnotherapy is worth considering. This is particularly true if the disorder is seriously affecting the patient’s life and other forms of management have proven ineffective. So, what sets hypnotherapy apart?

1. Often, people have suppressed feelings and thoughts. Feelings like regret, resentment, or guilt are stored in the body and can actually be the underlying cause for the panic attack or however the mental disorder presented itself.

Hypnotherapy attempts to address these thoughts and emotions, whatever they may be, thus giving the patient the release they unconsciously look for. People can then go about their daily activities without the heavy feeling usually brought about by these thoughts.

2. Hypnotherapy allows the therapist to visit traumatic experiences, memories, and stored emotions at the root or the deepest level possible. Again, this is to help the patient with releasing the experience and negative feelings associated with it. Hypnotherapy to help binge drinking Adelaide, for instance, can uncover the incident that caused the return to alcohol.

Hypnotherapy can also be used to address other bad habits such as smoking. In fact, people in, say, Adelaide, will find no shortage of clinics to help them in this respect.

3. Fearful and repetitive thoughts can often surface in people’s minds. These may be the result of a traumatic experience that triggered the mental disorder – or they could be the trigger. They could also be both, in fact. Once negative emotions are released, the focus turns to replacing the fear-driven thoughts.

The hypnotherapist may make suggestions to encourage positive thinking, as well as use affirmations to reinforce the person’s sense of self and their confidence. This helps the patient accept themselves better, and have a more constructive outlook.

4. There is definitely a link between the mental and physical. Mental disorders can include or result in thoughts that sabotage the self, not to mention potentially harmful behaviour.  After addressing the person’s main concern, the hypnotherapist can then help address things like restless sleep, low energy, or chronic pain.

The therapist can even give suggestions to increase the individual’s motivation to eat well, to exercise more, or engage in other activities to gradually improve their quality of life.

5. Hypnotherapy deals with the subconscious mind rather than the conscious one. This helps both patient and therapist as it means no barriers exist, and the patient is going to be as honest as possible about certain incidents or emotions. This doesn’t mean, however, that the therapist can control the patient.

In essence, hypnotherapy addresses the person as a whole, compared to other forms of treatment where only the symptoms are treated or managed. Due to this, the healing is more effective and longer-lasting. One can either go for regular sessions with a hypnotherapist, or use a hypnosis product like a CD.

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