The Key to Successful Relationships Part 1 of 2

By Tania Kotsos in Success on September 23rd, 2010 / One Comment

Every single person in your life is a mirror – knowing this is the key to all successful relationships. Others are simply reflecting parts of your own consciousness back to you, giving you an opportunity to really see yourself.

The qualities you most admire in others are your own and the same goes for those qualities you dislike. To change anything in your relationships, be the change you want to see – it is the only relationship advice you will ever need to transform your relationships into the joyful experience they are meant to be.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall
The key to successful relationships is to recognize yourself in the other person. It is to come to know the Truth that everything and everyone is your mirror. Once you learn what it truly means to see yourself reflected back at you, then there is no room for blame, there is no room for judgment and there is no room to feel like a victim of another person’s actions or words. There is only room for real love based on understanding and gratitude.

Compromise comes easy, forgiveness is a given and growth is inevitable. While this Truth applies to all of your relationships – from your family, to your friends and colleagues, and even to those you deem your “enemy” – it is your relationship with your significant other that enables you to take the closest, most accurate look at who you are.

You Are Always the Common Denominator
Have you noticed how all your intimate relationships tend to be similar – only the face changes while the fundamentals remain the same. The repetition of the same problems, the same feelings and the same insecurities often leave you despondent and even reluctant to try again.

You surrender yourself to the belief that relationships are difficult and require much compromise and that successful relationships are a matter of luck, timing or even Divine Will. You can’t help but notice how what starts off with such hope often ends with no hope at all.

What you perhaps haven’t noticed though is that in all these repetitive relationships there has always been one and only common denominator – YOU. What you perhaps haven’t realized is that whoever the person is that you have next to you, no matter how many times you change him or her, the fundamentals of your relationship will remain unchanged (albeit to varying degrees) because they are simply mirroring you. It can be no other way.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Everything you admire in another person belongs to you and the same goes for all that which you dislike. In order for you to recognize a certain quality in another, then it must be part of your consciousness – you could not see it otherwise.

Your relationships are a perfect mirror of your inner relationship with yourself. Your relationships with others are your opportunity to experience yourself. Just like the Universe is the only way the One Universal Consciousness can experience Itself – it is the Law of Correspondence, as above so below.

Your Beliefs and Actions are Staring You in the Face: We all have those habitual thoughts and actions which are a product of our beliefs and previous experiences. Your beliefs about relationships, about men, about women, about love and life in general are all there for you to see in your relationships. If you dislike certain negative qualities in your partner, such as their insecurities or negativity, they too are yours.

It cannot be emphasized enough that the more you love or hate a particular quality in another person, the more it belongs to you. It falls into one of two categories (or both):

1. a belief about yourself or
2. an action or quality of yours.

For instance, if you believe that men or women are not to be trusted or if you yourself have been willing to be the “other woman” or “other man” in the past, then by the Law of Attraction you will attract relationships in which a lack of trust is a major issue because that is where you have chosen to vibrate.

Even if your partner is being faithful to you, you will look for reasons to prove otherwise and as the saying goes, you always find what you are looking for. If for instance you dislike your partner’s jealousy, you will find that you too are jealous perhaps not of him or her but of others.

Simply put, when your partner acts in a particular way that upsets you, you will find that you too act in the same way perhaps not towards him or her but towards others. The more a particular action frustrates you, the more it reflects a part of you which you have not previously acknowledged – this is the key to successful relationships. The bottom-line cause of divorce, is when one or both of the partners can no longer stand to see themselves in the other person.

A Note About Abusive Relationships
This advice is aimed at healing your relationships. Emotionally and physically abusive relationships are no exception. Their reflection is no less accurate than that of any other relationship. At the root of abusive relationships you will usually find a severe lack of self-worth in the abused partner, which is re-iterated by their refusal to leave the abuser. The only way to rise above such relationships is to learn the truth about the power of self-love.

About the author:
Tania Kotsos is the founder and author of Mind Your Reality. She has been studying mind power and the nature of reality for the last 15 years. After a successful 10 year career as an investment banker in the City of London, she decided to throw in the towel to pursue her dream of empowering people to transform their lives using the innate power of their mind.

Visit her website at:

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One Response to “The Key to Successful Relationships Part 1 of 2”

  1. Katie Rainer Says:

    I see what you mean about everyone we know being a mirror – we tend to attract others that share our views.

    I would have said this is a good thing though – I never like to spend very much time around people that seem aggressive or edgy, I see this as a good thing. Surrounding yourself with positive people will really help you accomplish your goals, as well as helping others accomplish theirs.

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