The Key to Successful Relationships Part 2 of 2

By Thomas Herold in Success on September 27th, 2010 / 2 Comments

Our Button Pushers are Our Greatest Teachers
We all have our “buttons” which when pushed cause us to act or think in negative ways which surpass our normal selves. Get to know your buttons. Instead of becoming frustrated, know that your “buttons” are the keys to your growth.

Instead of asking for your “buttons” not to be pushed, you should examine the cause and ultimately the belief behind the trigger and change it. See your “buttons” as the red-alert alarm which brings to your attention those parts of your consciousness that are begging to be changed.

Self-Love as the Foundation
In a successful relationship when your partner treats you with love and support you will find that the basis for his or her love is the love you have towards yourself and so towards others. When you trust yourself and hence others, you will attract a trust-worthy partner; when you believe in yourself and hence in others, you will attract a partner that believes in you; when you are kind to yourself and hence to others, you will attract a partner that is kind to you; when you love yourself and hence others, you will attract a loving partner and so on.

Ultimately, the best relationships advice is to love yourself. Self-love is the foundation of all successful relationships for it is truly the greatest love of all.

There is No Need to Blame Yourself
Recognizingyourself in others is not about blaming yourself or playing the victim. It is about taking your own power back to create your reality and the successful relationships of your choice; it is about getting to know and accepting yourself in ways you never thought possible; it is about putting the ball back in your court to transform your relationships into the magic they are meant to be; it is your chance to grow.

Do not fall into the trap of blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong, rather be grateful for the knowledge that you can change anything and everything in your life without having to change anyone else – just yourself.

The Law of Gender
According to the Law of Gender everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Know that despite your physical attributes, you are not your body. You have within yourself a Feminine and a Masculine you. The You that is beyond your body is both male and female.

These two Principals within you have an ongoing relationship based on your beliefs. When you create a loving relationship between your Masculine and your Feminine selves it will be reflected back to you in your outside world in your physical relationships with others… (article coming soon: Mastering the Law of Gender)..

Be the Change You Want to See
Make a list of all those things that you dislike in your partner, including all your insecurities in your relationship. All those things you wish were different whether it be in their treatment of you or themselves.

Put your ego aside and do an honest audit of that list. Next to each unwanted action find an example of when you too have acted that way and wished you hadn’t whether toward your partner or someone else. Next to all those unwanted insecurities write down the underlying belief it reflects whether about yourself, relationships or life.

For this to work so that you can create successful relationships, you must be honest with yourself – no hiding, no buts. There is no need to show your results to anyone else. This exercise is meant for you to learn about you. When you have completed your list and matched it up with your beliefs and / or actions, you are ready for change.

Using meditation and creative visualization, you can shift your beliefs and habitual thoughts such that they empower your relationships rather than dis-empower them. Ultimately, you can create successful relationships of your choosing based on true love rather than on fear and attachment.

What Will Happen Once You Change
You will find that as you begin to change those habitual thoughts, beliefs and actions that your relationships will begin to transform before your very eyes. If you commit yourself to changing, you will find that the results you want to see are very quick to come – even instantaneous. Your partner will become more loving and all those negative qualities which you once disliked so passionately will magically start to disappear.

Alternatively, you may also find, that the role of your current partner finishes in your life causing him or her to leave effortlessly and amicably with no pain, thus making room for you to attract a new person into your life that matches your new-found beliefs and actions.

The great spin-off benefit is that you will see miraculous transformation not only in your relationship with your significant other but in all your relationships. You may even find that you no longer see your “enemies” as enemies but rather as your greatest teachers.

The Two-Fold Path to Change
There are only ever two paths to true change in your life. The first path is pain and is the most common. Many people have seen their relationships and lives change through much pain. As their experiences become more and more painful to the point that they can no longer bear the suffering that is brought on by their own beliefs, they are forced to shift. The second path is Knowledge – it is the path less traveled.

When you learn a new Truth and apply it in your life, you will effortlessly enjoy the changes you would otherwise only come to know through pain. The application of Knowledge is the key that unlocks its power. Resolve to make Knowledge the path you walk down on your road to changing your relationships into the success they are meant to be.

In a nutshell, the key to successful relationships is that everyone in your life is your mirror, reflecting parts of your Consciousness back to you. When you learn to recognize all those qualities that you both like and dislike in your partner as your own, you will have learned that the only path to change is through yourself.

You will no longer have to hope or wish that your partner changes or be frustrated with his or her actions or constantly feel that you are compromising yourself to keep a relationship alive. Once you change yourself and your beliefs you will find your relationships transforming in ways you never dreamed possible. Ultimately, when you find true love within yourself you will attract it effortlessly in your outer world.

About the author:
Tania Kotsos is the founder and author of Mind Your Reality. She has been studying mind power and the nature of reality for the last 15 years. After a successful 10 year career as an investment banker in the City of London, she decided to throw in the towel to pursue her dream of empowering people to transform their lives using the innate power of their mind.

Visit her website at:

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2 Responses to “The Key to Successful Relationships Part 2 of 2”

  1. Katie Says:

    My post didn’t go the first time – you make a good point about loving yourself before you find a great relationship – a lot of people I know are dependant on someone else, they go from relationship to relationship without taking time to be on their own and find out what makes them happy.

    However if they love themselves first they have a much better chance of being in a happy relationship :)

  2. scrapman4u Says:

    I see myself in her. As see her looking, I have to remenber I look at outher women all the time. mirror, mirror. My partner is as I. I can change myself,so many things to change. by the grace of God. Thank You God and thank you Tania.

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